Amazing Anniversary – It’s been 5 years since I first met Nimi!
I was living with my dog Özge, on an old sailing boat in Jaffa port, and I clearly remember myself spending the whole afternoon lazing on the sundeck, after sunset hopping on my bike for bringing home Chinese take-out and beers, then watching ‘Girls’ episodes all night long.
I fell asleep with a few empty beer cans right next to my head, with the greasy take out box in my bed, and although probably this sounds a bit pathetic, I actually enjoyed the single and light-hearted life very much.
The next day I was snooping for some easy fling on Grindr, (the Tinder of gays, just even more dodgy), and suddenly out of the swamp of profiles without pictures saying “for real men only”, this beautiful boy sent me a “hey”, to which I replied:
“Wow, you’re adorable.” – surprising myself quite a bit, as to be honest the usual Grindr conversations go like this: “Hey – looking for now?”, “Yes, I can host. U t/b?” “Im into everything, send location.”
But with him it was different. We have spent the whole night chatting online, and the next evening we’ve set our first date, lasting till next morning, as after leaving the bar we’ve been sitting at he asked me:
“Would you want to come up and sleep at my place? Only sleeping!” I said yes, and we have been (not only) sleeping as big spoon and little spoon ever since.
Roughly 1800 days and nights passed since then, and we are still so much into each other, we even take out the trash together.
“It would certainly be nice for you sometimes to be able to close the door behind you, in another room – right?” a dear acquaintance of mine tried to force the dramatic confession out of me,
standing right middle of our twenty-four-square-meter apartment with sincere shock, not even understanding how two adult men and six cats could live here.
“I’ll be very honest with you: if sometimes I sit down on our balcony overlooking the sea and olive groves to write an article, and Nimi organizes our spice rack in the kitchen, I’ll definitely miss him after no more than half an hour.”
My chat partner then remarked, “Well, sorry, but that level of interdependence is already abnormal.” “You’re misunderstanding me,” I replied. “I don’t become a dysfunctional creature without him,
during our relationship it happened countless times that I conducted a one-week gastronomic tour alone with seven cooking courses in seven different parts of the country, so that I was my own driver, manager, assistant my media manager and a bit of my psychologist.
Our first ever joint cookbook came out last year – but of course all this didn’t happen in a way that three days after we met, I handed over my bank account number, asked Nimi to cook a private birthday lunch for me, or write a shopping list for the menu of a six-course pop-up dinner.
We simply… experienced each other. It was a good start that we were both vegans when we got together, we are both extraverted, adventurous, hedonistic people, love to experience, create,
and are social in a way that we are happy to pass the stage to others who had a greater need to shine. We both like to get out of the crowd, knowing that anyone who is curious about us will follow us.
Nimi is my first love with whom, if I stated at two in the morning: the bed would be in a better place in the kitchen and the stove on the balcony, we would passionately start pushing furniture and none of us could rest until everything was in it’s new place.
He was the only one with whom we could easily enter each other’s world, and although we did very similar activities — theater, journalism, creating our own stages on social media — we had neither envy nor jealousy,
what’s more: we helped each other’s fulfillment in his individual world, with commitment and heart and soul, and at the same time we have become an increasingly important pillar in each other’s universe.
According to the Myers-Briggs personality test, we’re both campaigners (ENFP) — but there’s a huge difference in our work ethic that perfectly complements each other’s shortcomings. Namely:
he is much more rational, being able to organize the currently due tasks into lists, tables, and documents, while when it comes to manifesting a greater step on a professional and personal level, like finding a new home, buying a car or a boat, and publishing a cookbook, I’m the one who’s more insightful practical.
Those who have seen us cooking together, whether in our online cooking classes or live, always remember our flowing dynamics, and this sort of balance characterizes us when we work, renovate homes, shop, host or just think of a new, shared project.
No one asks kids playing together, “Isn’t it tiring to keep playing together?” Nimi and I both played “seriously” as children:
we opened a cafe on the terrace of the family house, filmed a documentary with the people of the street, opened a mini market in front of our gates, premiered self-noted plays on a podium made up of pallets,
and somewhere deep in our hearts we both knew that if becoming an adult means saying good bye to game, we certainly never want to grow up.
Stepping into the grown up world we both hoped that one day we will find someone who didn’t leave behind all that excitement, joy, and determination that children have in their hearts while playing.
So good, that we trusted. So good that we waited. So good that we’ve found each other.
Jolly anniversary to us, Nimrod Dagan. May happiness continue bloomin’ all around us, for eternity.
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