“We need never be ashamed of our tears.”

Come on, get happy… some day soon. A post on dealing with depression and accepting that in a process of changing pain is simply inevitable.


Photos by Yarden Rokach for Cool Cousin

I recently red an article on Atar Life – it was a step-by-step guide to overcoming depression. To be honest I don’t really like the word ‘depression’, simply because it’s associated with a disease, instead of being thought of as a certain mood. Somehow when we feel extended happiness, we don’t search for a new word to describe it. Yet when a negative emotion enters into our life, we give so much credit to it, we start manipulating our mind with medicines and spend huge amount of money on therapies.

Whoever reads this might think that the person who wrote this post never dealt with depression in his life – mixing up simple sadness with a clinical disease. Yet I have been heart broken, I dealt with serious mental and eating disorders, I have mourned my mother and lost friends, boyfriends, relatives throughout the years who I miss every single day, up until now. I have been taking antidepressants, I red self-help books, I turned to spirituality, I tried doing sports – just like everyone else.

Don’t get me wrong, I truly believe in gratitude, positive affirmations, exercise, diet, and all the rest of the tips making the blues go away, but accordingly to my experience, our suffering has a “mandate”, and although we can make it more bearable, ultimately we can do nothing but going through the tough period we meant to experience – maybe with a bit more beer and less sleeping than usually. It’s a complex process patched with self destruction, guilt, self- accusation, fear, even panic, but – as nothing lasts forever in this world – salvation will come and sadness will leave.


Last year I translated a Hungarian psycho therapist’s book, “The Woman”. Imre Csernus deals a lot with a science called “victimology” which is – among other things –  occupied with finding out which individuals tend to be victims and why. Do we become victims by chance? The therapist does not believe so. Everyone is in possession of a sort of radiating inner energy. Each and every one of us is yearning for happiness, and each process of change will go with experiencing pain. That is jus the way it is.

“The ugly duckling had a long way to go before she would become a beautiful swan. Unfortunately she couldn’t get away from the pain of this process either. In the beginning she didn’t even believe that she would ever fly. Then she slowly started to try her wings and realized that she actually might fly some day. It undeniably took a lot of pain and energy of her to come this long, but finally she did it! She learned how to fly and this meant that she was free and didn’t need to be afraid of starving foxes and other predators, because she knew how to get away from them.”

We need to remember – even when the greatest comfort we get is coming from our house pet – that whatever our current circumstances are, they are not a punishment, but simply a tool to help us rise above and elevate to another level of spiritual consciousness. We are where we are because it is where we must be to go to something better. Thanks for the reminder, Atar Life.


“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before-more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” Charles DickensGreat Expectations

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